Its been a long road the last couple of months during our infertility struggles. Last month, we were inseminated. The two week wait was excruciating. I swore that I wouldn't test every day but come day 7 I was going insane. I started taking test after test. I think we spent about $60 on different brands of pregnancy tests. We finally got a faint positive on day 13. That same day, I started bleeding. I wasn't too terribly concerned at first because I had bled with the girls off and on the entire pregnancy. But as time went on, the bleeding was pretty heavy. I ended up going in for a quant HCG test on a Friday night. The results showed only a 7. We pretty much knew that the pregnancy wasn't going anywhere. I went to the ER on Saturday night for excessive bleeding. My numbers were already down to 3. We were pretty upset. I had thought about all the things that I possibly did wrong and it completely killed me. We were going to wait for a few months to try again but... of course it didn't happen like that.
Last Friday night, I got a positive ovulation. We weren't going to try again so we just ignored it, thinking I would go get my blood drawn for the progesterone levels anyway the week later. On Saturday, the ovulation was still positive. No biggie. On Sunday night, it was still positive. This i when I began to think maybe someone is trying to tell us something. On Monday morning, it was negative. At this point, I started to think that my egg was just hanging out in there- going no where unless we do something about it. It was too late to schedule an insemination, but we could do it at home. I talked to Josh and he was really excited to try at home. Within two hours, he had gone to pick up the supplies necessary and come home. I had my doubts as to whether it was going to work. We couldn't get a catheter long enough for a true intracervical insemination so we just had to work with what we had. I spent an entire hours with my hips on pillows and my legs up around my head. I then spent the rest of the afternoon laying around.
Its insane but I have basically been having symptoms since. Monday afternoon, I was so crampy. TMI coming up- CM has been white and milky. Today started out with headaches, sore breasts, and cramps. I am exhausted. I may be going crazy but I am pretty sure that we have a good chance of this thing happening. Im also terrified that this little one won't stick around like last month. I am not going to take a test until next Saturday which will be day 12 because I don't want to make myself completely crazy, paranoid, and depressed with each early negative, but the thought of starting to bleed again will definitely be looming. Please say a little prayer for us as well as some baby dust. We really want this little one to stick around to play.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Wow. Its been a long. time.
This is Josh. I don't normally write on this blog, but since I have a few and I noticed people are occasionally looking at it, I thought I would update a bit.
We did not get pregnant last year...but we are back to trying. Jessica has lost nearly 40 lbs and with that is finally ovulating on her own! YEAH- we wont need to use clomid this time around!!!! Which means far less chance of multiples. Twins still run on her side, but hey- I'll take mother nature's odds vs. the pill's odds.
We have settled into our new house and really love being homeowners. So far we know we need to replace the back door as it leaks in heavy rain. Other than that we have had to replace the computer in the furnace (covered by warranty) and that's about it.
The twins are 2 and a half. Jocey is extremely intelligent and talks very well. She has a great vocab and asks wonderful questions (over and over and over)...Adey is the sweetest kid around- she has a few words and seems to be understanding things much better. We still don't have a diagnosis for her delays. We are pretty sure it is not a genetic issue. It is likely a combo of generalized delay and delay due to her epilepsy and medication. She has a pretty even walk these days, can climb up on the couch and get down by herself. We are working on stair safety with both girls. (Jocey actually fell down the stairs abotu 4 months ago. Thank God nothing serious- we took her to the ER because she was very out of it). So we still have the guards up and are careful to make sure everyone shuts them (as much as we are able).
Devanne just finished her 5th grade year and tries to act like a teenager all ready. Boy are we in for it! Though she is extremely intelligent and creative with a touch of ADD. She is a great daughter and a wonderful big sister. Very patient with her sisters.
Jessica and I have been on a weight loss journey since Jan 2nd. You can read more about it on our other blog....
search: jessicasjourneytoanewlife
She has lost nearly 40 and I have lost over 50lbs. It has made a tremendous difference in our lives, both for our family as a whole and our relationship. We have more energy and do a lot more than spend the nights/weekends sitting on the couch. A few weeks back Jess and I did a 13.1 mile hike. It took us forever, and she never wants to walk that far again, but we did it and we enjoyed eachothers' company. I am working on getting a personal training certification so I can help others on their journey towards improved health because I realize just how much this journey has saved my life. I can't believe I let my body get the way it was- our lives are such a previous gift, our bodies and minds deserve to be cared for. In the past when I, or we, have lost tried to lose weight, we neglected to incorporate the key ingredients to a successful plan. We would just eat right, or try just working out. We didn't put them together AND bring in a mental component. Cuz it's seriously a mental game. We have been tried and tested over the last 6 months. Sometimes we have small set backs (like when I want a beer, but have 3 or 4 instead!) but we don't let this take us of the course completely.
There really is much, much more and I think as we are actively trying for a baby we will probably keep this thing more up to date.
We did not get pregnant last year...but we are back to trying. Jessica has lost nearly 40 lbs and with that is finally ovulating on her own! YEAH- we wont need to use clomid this time around!!!! Which means far less chance of multiples. Twins still run on her side, but hey- I'll take mother nature's odds vs. the pill's odds.
We have settled into our new house and really love being homeowners. So far we know we need to replace the back door as it leaks in heavy rain. Other than that we have had to replace the computer in the furnace (covered by warranty) and that's about it.
The twins are 2 and a half. Jocey is extremely intelligent and talks very well. She has a great vocab and asks wonderful questions (over and over and over)...Adey is the sweetest kid around- she has a few words and seems to be understanding things much better. We still don't have a diagnosis for her delays. We are pretty sure it is not a genetic issue. It is likely a combo of generalized delay and delay due to her epilepsy and medication. She has a pretty even walk these days, can climb up on the couch and get down by herself. We are working on stair safety with both girls. (Jocey actually fell down the stairs abotu 4 months ago. Thank God nothing serious- we took her to the ER because she was very out of it). So we still have the guards up and are careful to make sure everyone shuts them (as much as we are able).
Devanne just finished her 5th grade year and tries to act like a teenager all ready. Boy are we in for it! Though she is extremely intelligent and creative with a touch of ADD. She is a great daughter and a wonderful big sister. Very patient with her sisters.
Jessica and I have been on a weight loss journey since Jan 2nd. You can read more about it on our other blog....
search: jessicasjourneytoanewlife
She has lost nearly 40 and I have lost over 50lbs. It has made a tremendous difference in our lives, both for our family as a whole and our relationship. We have more energy and do a lot more than spend the nights/weekends sitting on the couch. A few weeks back Jess and I did a 13.1 mile hike. It took us forever, and she never wants to walk that far again, but we did it and we enjoyed eachothers' company. I am working on getting a personal training certification so I can help others on their journey towards improved health because I realize just how much this journey has saved my life. I can't believe I let my body get the way it was- our lives are such a previous gift, our bodies and minds deserve to be cared for. In the past when I, or we, have lost tried to lose weight, we neglected to incorporate the key ingredients to a successful plan. We would just eat right, or try just working out. We didn't put them together AND bring in a mental component. Cuz it's seriously a mental game. We have been tried and tested over the last 6 months. Sometimes we have small set backs (like when I want a beer, but have 3 or 4 instead!) but we don't let this take us of the course completely.
There really is much, much more and I think as we are actively trying for a baby we will probably keep this thing more up to date.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
...
I started my period yesterday. I sort of thought maybe it was implantation bleeding but I had a blood test and a HCG test today and they were both negative. I'm sad but I know there will be a next time.
Monday, August 15, 2011
9 dpo
Hi my love bug(s),
Today mommy had to work ALL day. I was so tired when I got home that I actually took a nap after dinner for awhile. I took 2 more pregnancy tests today- both negative. I'm really starting to doubt myself. Maybe I am just crazy and you are really not there. I had some nausea today, almost threw up in the car, my breasts were sore, and my back hurt like heck. Am I just imagining it?? I hope that you are there. I hope I get to see you in 9 months.
Tomorrow I am taking your sisters to an indoor park. Hopefully I can stay awake. :)
I love you,
Mama
Today mommy had to work ALL day. I was so tired when I got home that I actually took a nap after dinner for awhile. I took 2 more pregnancy tests today- both negative. I'm really starting to doubt myself. Maybe I am just crazy and you are really not there. I had some nausea today, almost threw up in the car, my breasts were sore, and my back hurt like heck. Am I just imagining it?? I hope that you are there. I hope I get to see you in 9 months.
Tomorrow I am taking your sisters to an indoor park. Hopefully I can stay awake. :)
I love you,
Mama
Sunday, August 14, 2011
8 dpo
Hi Love bug(s),
Mommy took another test today, actually two, both were negative. :( I'm feeling a little dismayed but I know that it is still too early. We went shopping again today... I had more heartburn, my tummy hurt, my back hurt... everything. I really hpe that you are there!
I will take another one tomorrow!
I love you,
Mama
Mommy took another test today, actually two, both were negative. :( I'm feeling a little dismayed but I know that it is still too early. We went shopping again today... I had more heartburn, my tummy hurt, my back hurt... everything. I really hpe that you are there!
I will take another one tomorrow!
I love you,
Mama
Saturday, August 13, 2011
7 dpo
Hi Love bug(s),
I changed the dates on the dpo because I realized that today would be exactly a week since you were conceived (if you are there!). I tried to take a pregnancy test but it came out negative. I'm pretty sure that mommy is just being silly and took it way too early. Today was a day full of symptoms. We went school shopping today. We started our day at the outlet mall and then made our way to the regular mall, and then went to cousin Gracie's first birthday party. Mommy was sick the whole day. I was bloated and sick feeling and then I got heartburn. I have never had heartburn except for when I was pregnant with your sisters. I am really hoping that this means you are there. I'm not going to take another test until Monday. I hope by then I will get a positive!
I love you,
Mama
I changed the dates on the dpo because I realized that today would be exactly a week since you were conceived (if you are there!). I tried to take a pregnancy test but it came out negative. I'm pretty sure that mommy is just being silly and took it way too early. Today was a day full of symptoms. We went school shopping today. We started our day at the outlet mall and then made our way to the regular mall, and then went to cousin Gracie's first birthday party. Mommy was sick the whole day. I was bloated and sick feeling and then I got heartburn. I have never had heartburn except for when I was pregnant with your sisters. I am really hoping that this means you are there. I'm not going to take another test until Monday. I hope by then I will get a positive!
I love you,
Mama
Friday, August 12, 2011
7 dpo
Hello my love bug(s),
Mommy is so tired tonight. It is about 11:40 at night and we're watching TV. I had major cramps today. I hope that I had them because you're burrowing yourself into my stomach and getting ready for a nice 9 month stay. I am going to take the first pregnancy test on Sunday. Only two more days and hopefully I will get a positive but even if I don't I know there is still a possibility you are in there. What will you look like? What fun stuff are you going to learn first? I'm so excited and I don't even know if you are there or not!
Until tomorrow, I love you-
Mama
Mommy is so tired tonight. It is about 11:40 at night and we're watching TV. I had major cramps today. I hope that I had them because you're burrowing yourself into my stomach and getting ready for a nice 9 month stay. I am going to take the first pregnancy test on Sunday. Only two more days and hopefully I will get a positive but even if I don't I know there is still a possibility you are in there. What will you look like? What fun stuff are you going to learn first? I'm so excited and I don't even know if you are there or not!
Until tomorrow, I love you-
Mama
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