Wow. Its been a long. time.

This is Josh. I don't normally write on this blog, but since I have a few and I noticed people are occasionally looking at it, I thought I would update a bit.
We did not get pregnant last year...but we are back to trying. Jessica has lost nearly 40 lbs and with that is finally ovulating on her own! YEAH- we wont need to use clomid this time around!!!! Which means far less chance of multiples. Twins still run on her side, but hey- I'll take mother nature's odds vs. the pill's odds.
We have settled into our new house and really love being homeowners. So far we know we need to replace the back door as it leaks in heavy rain. Other than that we have had to replace the computer in the furnace (covered by warranty) and that's about it.
The twins are 2 and a half. Jocey is extremely intelligent and talks very well. She has a great vocab and asks wonderful questions (over and over and over)...Adey is the sweetest kid around- she has a few words and seems to be understanding things much better. We still don't have a diagnosis for her delays.  We are pretty sure it is not a genetic issue. It is likely a combo of generalized delay and delay due to her epilepsy and medication. She has a pretty even walk these days, can climb up on the couch and get down by herself. We are working on stair safety with both girls. (Jocey actually fell down the stairs abotu 4 months ago. Thank God nothing serious- we took her to the ER because she was very out of it). So we still have the guards up and are careful to make sure everyone shuts them (as much as we are able).
Devanne just finished her 5th grade year and tries to act like a teenager all ready. Boy are we in for it! Though she is extremely intelligent and creative with a touch of ADD. She is a great daughter and a wonderful big sister. Very patient with her sisters.
Jessica and I have been on a weight loss journey since Jan 2nd. You can read more about it on our other blog....
search: jessicasjourneytoanewlife

She has lost nearly 40 and I have lost over 50lbs. It has made a tremendous difference in our lives, both for our family as a whole and our relationship. We have more energy and do a lot more than spend the nights/weekends sitting on the couch. A few weeks back Jess and I did a 13.1 mile hike. It took us forever, and she never wants to walk that far again, but we did it and we enjoyed eachothers' company.  I am working on getting a personal training certification so I can help others on their journey towards improved health because I realize just how much this journey has saved my life. I can't believe I let my body get the way it was- our lives are such a previous gift, our bodies and minds deserve to be cared for.  In the past when I, or we, have lost tried to lose weight, we neglected to incorporate the key ingredients to a successful plan. We would just eat right, or try just working out. We didn't put them together AND bring in a mental component. Cuz it's seriously a mental game. We have been tried and tested over the last 6 months. Sometimes we have small set backs (like when I want a beer, but have 3 or 4 instead!) but we don't let this take us of the course completely.
There really is much, much more and I think as we are actively trying for a baby we will probably keep this thing more up to date.

...

I started my period yesterday. I sort of thought maybe it was implantation bleeding but I had a blood test and a HCG test today and they were both negative. I'm sad but I know there will be a next time.

9 dpo

Hi my love bug(s),

Today mommy had to work ALL day. I was so tired when I got home that I actually took a nap after dinner for awhile. I took 2 more pregnancy tests today- both negative. I'm really starting to doubt myself. Maybe I am just crazy and you are really not there. I had some nausea today, almost threw up in the car, my breasts were sore, and my back hurt like heck. Am I just imagining it?? I hope that you are there. I hope I get to see you in 9 months.

Tomorrow I am taking your sisters to an indoor park. Hopefully I can stay awake. :)

I love you,
Mama

8 dpo

Hi Love bug(s),

Mommy took another test today, actually two, both were negative. :( I'm feeling a little dismayed but I know that it is still too early. We went shopping again today... I had more heartburn, my tummy hurt, my back hurt... everything. I really hpe that you are there!

I will take another one tomorrow!

I love you,
Mama

7 dpo

Hi Love bug(s),

I changed the dates on the dpo because I realized that today would be exactly a week since you were conceived (if you are there!). I tried to take a pregnancy test but it came out negative. I'm pretty sure that mommy is just being silly and took it way too early. Today was a day full of symptoms. We went school shopping today. We started our day at the outlet mall and then made our way to the regular mall, and then went to cousin Gracie's first birthday party. Mommy was sick the whole day. I was bloated and sick feeling and then I got heartburn. I have never had heartburn except for when I was pregnant with your sisters. I am really hoping that this means you are there. I'm not going to take another test until Monday. I hope by then I will get a positive!

I love you,
Mama

7 dpo

Hello my love bug(s),

Mommy is so tired tonight. It is about 11:40 at night and we're watching TV. I had major cramps today. I hope that I had them because you're burrowing yourself into my stomach and getting ready for a nice 9 month stay. I am going to take the first pregnancy test on Sunday. Only two more days and hopefully I will get a positive but even if I don't I know there is still a possibility you are in there. What will you look like? What fun stuff are you going to learn first? I'm so excited and I don't even know if you are there or not!

Until tomorrow, I love you-
Mama

6 dpo

Hi Love bug(s),

This is just going to be a quick note today because my computer is dying, but I did not have implantation bleeding today. I was hoping that I would. But according to google, you don't have to have the bleeding to be preggo. I hope not. I am so excited to know whether you are there or not. I am going to suprise your daddy. I bought pregnancy tests that I hope to take this weekend. He doesn't know that I did. I know that he will be so surprised that I kept the secret! :)

Mommy loves you,
Mama